T.B.C.C.F. 3

Clayton finch 3

The sun rose over the Ascarlin mountains to bathe the heart of the felaryan jungle in morning light. The cry of some unfortunate soul announced the coming of day like a rooster before being silenced. Well, since they're dead we'll direct our attention to a small clearing holding a prone blue-haired giantess and .... Her companion.

Keemee opened her eyes only to see Clayton gorging himself on last nights kill like some deranged animal, not the prettiest thing to wake up to. She winced at the noises he made while consuming the raw carcass with no courtesy what so ever to his traveling companion.

"didn't your mother ever tell you not to eat like an animal?" she said.

" the only thing my mother ever told me was 'Clayton, put your pants on! Stop talking to your self! Sit up straight! Don't hum your own theme music while you walk. Stop putting bullets in the furnace! Quit hiding animals in your sisters' drawers!' and the like." he continued to tear at the carrion and all Keemee could say was, "you are ... Something else"

"oh yeah well you eat people. So BAM!"

"I don't think of humans as people, too destructive and annoying."

"and what of meh?"

"I don't know how to label you. You're human but you're not, you're destructive but it's good, yeah no idea."

"well if it keeps you from eating me then-"

" I said I wouldn't eat you."

"but you're a man eater yes?"

"yeah."

"well I'm as manly as they come sooo I'll just have to keep an eye open." he flexed while sitting back and starred into space.

Keemee smirk at his antics. Normally she would have just eaten anyone who talked like that to her but for some reason she found it cute when he did it. She looked at him again, just reclining on a rock when she noticed that his scars had vanished and surprisingly he had color in his skin. All the scars where his jaw fell off were gone, leaving a new looking face. He noticed her staring and began to explain, " consuming protein of any kind rebuilds my body, but I can't hunt worth a damn and after a while I couldn't stay in the city"

" you look good."

That actually threw him off, most of the time he says stuff like that and it's just to joke. She laughed at his expense and sat up and stretched. Looking around it was a peaceful cool morning, the type that felt good to be alive(too bad for that guy in the opening huh?).

"so, where do we go now?"

"oh, ha! You thought I had a plan this whole time? Silly girl, plans are for kids!"

"then why don't we start by asking around? It's the first step."

"you are determined to return me to normal aren't you?"

"well, yeah."

"your words are hollow to thine ears of prey"

"you jerk! You're gonna have to learn to trust me since we're in this together now." she smirked at him and he shot a confidant grin back, donning his hat and aviators, "you'll just have to learn some self control 'cause I am one sexy beast and being a pirate only adds to my mystique, don't wanna get me in there too early eh?"

"jerk" she repeated.

Keemee put her hand down so he could climb up to her shoulder. She would have carried him in her hand as she's found she enjoys to, but Clayton can sometimes act prideful and he likes to shoot at things from her shoulder and head. So she let's him do his thing.

As ridiculous as it sounds they spent the rest of the morning finding groups of adventurers and questioned them about anything of interest. Of course not without giving them the scare of their life and relieve them of anything valuable or useful. There was one woman who was so irritable one could have mistaken her for a harpy, Clayton just got fed up and shot her in the face.

"What a waste" keemee sighed, tossing the headless corpse over her shoulder.

" heyheyhey! That's still good!"

"you want it?"she asked incredulously.

" uh no. But-"

" then stop complaining"

"eh it may come one day that you'll have to eat dead things"

"you fit that category don't you?" she said mockingly.

"aha! I knew it! You do want to eat me you charlatan!"

"oh hush"

She absentmindedly swatted him off her shoulder and he fell head first into her cleavage, just his kicking legs showed. Keemee blushed bright red as Clayton struggled to free himself, she couldn't help but enjoy the moment until he finally escaped.

"what the bloody hell woman!! That was your fault so don't get mad at me!"

"sorry, yes that was my fault"

"and why did i have to get myself out?"

"uh"

"just put meh down woman, put meh down!"

She gripped him by the back of his coat and placed him on the ground, still blushing. He adjusted his hat and walked off, keemee just waited until he got some distance before following. After a while Clayton tensed when he heard someone struggling from inside something; "awesome breakfast!"

"you just ate"

"oh yeah huh"

The source just happened to be a podmaw with a freshly caught adventurer, what caught Clayton's eye though was all the stuff underneath the plant. As he began rooting through the trove keemee pulled the bulb free of the rest of the plant and stuffed the whole thing in her mouth, with obviously practiced precision, she bit down on just the right spot to release the one inside and promptly swallowed both. While exploring the heap, Clayton found a huge gold ring inscribed with strange writing. He studied it a bit then looked at keemee and had an idea, "hey kimiko I found me a solid gold hula hoop!"
He was spinning it around his hips and she just looked at him crossly, "how did you know my whole name?"

"it's not that hard to guess. 'keemee' 'keemee'ko, see what I'm gettin' at?"

"yeah not bad, and give me that! You look utterly ridiculous"

She took the ring from him and looked at it closely, while he protested, " damn it woman I found that!"

"you're a pirate aren't you? Well you just got pirated!" she smiled sweetly.

"taking from another pirate means war, girly. Huh, that actually looks like a 'ring' when you hold it"

"oh?"

Keemee placed the ring on her ring finger, and was immediately looking Clayton face to face.

"cool! Now I can punch ya in the face!" he said, putting his dukes up.

"aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!"

"gaa! I thought pipes like that were only for church!"

"oh crap! Oh gosh! What happened?!"

"well, if you would care to look around… and notice your surroundings you might be able to ascertain your predicament"

"huh?"

"you've shrunk"

" oh"

she took the ring off and shot back to her original height.

"this just strengthens my theory that giantess are only big humans"

"I still say we're different"

"whatever cannibal hehehehehe"

"aren't zombies cannibals?"

"I nevah once ate another human, just took his hand to replace the one I lost. And zombies aren't really humans any more"

"well I'm sure that this could be useful for something" she said admiring the ring, "I bet I could use it to get into Negav!"

"so that's what the name was! But I thought predators couldn't get in."

"well maybe it will let me with this ring so we can search for a lead in the city! I bet someone in there knows something about your essence"

"you may have a point. You just can't take the ring off when we get in, missy"

"yeah. This might actually be fun though! There's never any cities big enough for me but now I can go in one with no problems!"

"that's 'if' you don't try to eat every one"

"oh shut up. Oh! There'll be new food to try as well! Oh this'll be exciting!"

"yeah yeah well you can get your shrinky legs when we get to th' city. For now, I wanna ride on you head!"

"you can be so childish sometimes "She said, placing Clayton on her head and walking towards Nagev.

"I like it up here. Reminds me of home."

They continued on in silence, each thinking their own individual thoughts. Keemee realized how much her life had changed since meeting the dashing undead aviator. But she liked the change, and, she realized, she liked him.
————

It took a while to finally reach the cities' predator influence that Keemee could barely continue.

"ow! Time to find out if the ring will work"

"hey hey wait till I'm off yer-!"

Keemee put the ring on and shrunk down to human size, "hey! I don't feel it anymore!"

"bombs away!"

She side-stepped as Clayton landed with a bone shattering smash.

"ow. Hey my leg bones are sticking through me back! Awesome."

"that looks painful" she winced.

"oh I'm fine, do meh a favor though and grab me ankles"

"m-Kay"

She grabbed his ankles and he pulled his body back together. He stood up and continued to straighten himself out, "you look fine so stop fussing."

"get off me back woman! They don't like necromancy here, and guess what I am"

"a dead guy"

"I meant totally awesome but yes, you're right"

Keemee giggled and they walked off towards the city."So you can't feel that thing anymore?"

"yeah! It's almost like I've turned into a human!"

"that thing could be worth allot, or it could make money…"

"don't even think about it short man. This is my ring and you can't have it!"

"I'll exploit it somehow. Getting money is what I do. And now I'm taller then you! So BAM!"

"I can take the ring off…"

"then do now, right now. I, dare ya!"

"never mind."

"wuss"

The two continued their random conversations until silenced by the sheer awe that emanated from the massive walls of Negav. The bridge, the well designed architecture, and the massive guns that lined the top, proved this to be a stronghold capable of discouraging any predator.

"you would never get in there on a normal day, well I'll know I'm safe when I return to normal"

"You'd be safe anyway, I wouldn't let any thing get you."

"ah, savin' me for yourself eh?"

Finally Keemee could properly respond to Clayton's jesting and punched him as hard as she could in the shoulder, dislocating it.

"you hit like a girl! If there was any muscle tissue in there then it would have made a difference"
She sighed as he set the joint back in place and they entered Negav. There was just no getting to him. The city was loud like any other city and the buildings towered over them . Keemee was stupefied and Clayton mocked at security behind their backs, eventually they found their way into the market district and began browsing every stall, Keemee was determined to try every food vendor she set her eyes on. Thanks to Clayton's superb piracy skills they had the money to pay for it, while browsing a stall of odds and ends he found something he would have never expected: a modified Thompson submachine gun with a single drum clip. This weapon was a favorite amongst the crew for raiding parties because of the high mag capacity and power in short range, it had a tendency to jam a lot but this was accepted. Now a new question was brought to mind: how did it get here? Was there someone else from his world here too? He had to get it, that gun would be his! He picked up the gun and the 8.37lbs felt like an old friend.

"you want to buy that?" the merchant queried.

"hell yeah"

"I gotta warn ya though, you're not gonna find any bullets round here for that. Just can't tell what it takes"

Clayton paid the ridiculously low price and smirked at the ill- informed man, "it takes standard pistol ammunition hahahaha!"

"fuck!"

"ah hahahahahaha ha ha!! Sucker!"

Clayton slung the weapon over his shoulder and pulled a box of ammunition from another stall he walked by and hid it in his jacket, smiling to himself, "hehehehehe, a couple gems should be enough to 'fairly' spend here, Keemee has her own money she can use. Hmmm, if she has any left over I should introduce her to poker." he grin at his shady thoughts until Keemee ran up to him excitedly, "Clayton guess what I found! It's a map of Felarya's temples! Maybe there could be something inside that has your essence! Or treasure!"

Clayton was dumbfounded at this find but then he saw the price tag still on it, "you did remember to pay for this right?"

"oops."

"THERE SHE IS!"

Negav security were wading through the crowd towards them, "start now and you could make a pretty good pirate. Now I'm gonna show you an age old combat tactic that pirates every where use… EVERY MAN FOR HIMSELF !"

"I'm a woman!"

"damn!"

Clayton tore the tag off 'cause that's his map now bitches and grabbed a case from a passing shopper for the map while keemee struggled to keep up in the crowd. Clayton looked back at the guards and they were gaining on her, they hadn't even noticed him, "well now I feel like an idiot."

Quick as he could, Clayton loaded the drum clip while keeping an eye on the chase. His vantage point gave him an edge he needed to get Keemee out of this mess she got herself in, "can't let my ride get hauled off to jail now can I?"

Looking ahead he saw his opportunity in the form of heavy materials hanging precariously from some cables. Once the clip was loaded he stowed the gun and let his hands fall to the sides, he concentrated hard and waited for just the right time. Those guards were really close in pursuit. His hand twitched over his magnums holster, just as Keemee was about to run under the trap, he fired! The gun whipped out and the bullet exploded out of the chamber, flying at incredible speed it cut right through the cable. Keemee ran under the debris completely oblivious, the guards were none the wiser as well, keemee only looked back when she heard the load crash. Every one parted and looked at the surely dead security personnel, keemee looked around for Clayton and found him standing alone on a roof not far away with the sun behind him, shadowing his features except the smoking gun still in his hand. The only word to describe it was, epic. She felt her heart flutter while looking at him as he turned around and made his way off the building. She ran to meet up with him.

She found him climbing down a wall into an ally looking exhausted, " what happened?"

"as if you couldn't tell"

"no no to you!"

"that shot required some intense concentration."

"oh, come on we should find someplace to sleep"

"no; we can't stay here now, every cop in the city will be looking for you, they don't know I was involved yet"

"well it was fun here while it lasted"

She went over to him and helped him to his feet, placing a small kiss on his cheek. All they had to do now was escape under cover of night, with every one with a weapon looking for them.

----

It was easier and harder to sneak around at night. The only people out were the guards, double patrols searching for the fugitive.

"I hate cities, so uptight you can't breathe, and when it's lax any where it's a ghetto."

"well I thought it was nice to do something new."

"where did you take the map from?"

"a stall a few rows down"

"huh, that's pretty good on foot."

"I didn't mean it!"

"eh get over it woman"

They moved silently through the allies and streets, they even tricked a young guard by pretending to make out(much to Clayton's displeasure). After removing keemees face from his own, he proceeded to listen for the sounds of security's movement around them, "there's no one near except the idiot we duped."

"don't act like you didn't enjoy it, Clayton finch"

"well I never thought my first kiss would smell like I do."

"I grow tired of your predator jokes, it's natural"

"so are my jokes. If you stop being a predator then I cant make them any more. Just saying, I'm not preaching."

"well let's get moving, I'm getting hungry again and all those venders are gone."

Clayton nodded and they set off down the boulevard avoiding any guards. Close to around midnight the two reached the gates to the jungle. There were still men posted by the gate, but it was lax, after all, the jungle is a death trap for any one.

"how are we going to get past them?" keemee asked with a slight hint of concern.

Clayton thought for a second, his trigger finger aching, "hmm, I don't care how many families I ruin tonight, I want out!" he yelled sprinting across towards the gates while pulling the Tommy out and pulling the bolt back.

Keemee kept close to Clayton while he mowed down any that got In their way. The guards were all alert to them now and were assembling to prevent their escape.

Clayton jumped over some barrels and whipped out the magnum to hit a guy about to slice him with a heavy sword, as always a perfect head shot. Clayton hit the ground with a roll and dodged the headless swordsman's attack which gutted another guy trying to get keemee.

"hell yeah!! You see that?! What a shot! What a shot!"

"halt!"

"ahhhh!"

They ran through the gate and keemee took off for the forest while Clayton sprayed everything with gun fire, ensuring their escape from Negav.

Clayton rendezvoused with keemee at the edge of the eye's influence and she was tossing the ring in the air, "that was harrowing"

"oh please woman that was nothing. I probably killed over seven guys today. With a gun, and that's the way it should be. Hope you got everything you wanted cause we're not coming back fore we're probably wanted for murder."

"how can you take death so calmly?"

"pirate, mate" he paused, "and it's not like you're afraid to end lives, you do so quite often after all."

" I guess pretending to be a human got me thinking but I'm not changing my ways."

"good to hear, I'll admit that I enjoy watching them scream when you drop 'em in."

"… hey, if you're ok with killing for material wealth, how come you broke down about turning those prisoners into whatever you are?"

He stared thoughtfully at the ground before replying, with a heavy sigh he answered, "because I don't think anything should have to die like that. It's horrifying to say the least. I may not seem like it but I do have a very complex sense of honor, engraved into my mind thanks to the good captain, and I follow it to the letter." he concluded and laid back to stare at the canopy above, this was as good a spot as any to sleep for the night.

Keemee gazed fondly at the aviator," I knew you had a heart." she smiled.

"never said I didn't, it just hasn't beat in a few weeks."